Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts

"I haven't seen you since Michael Jackson was Black." - joke

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"I haven't seen you since Michael Jackson was Black." - joke
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"From the beginning onward, marriage literally starts out with a man on his knees, begging." - Akaash Singh

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"From the beginning onward, marriage literally starts out with a man on his knees, begging." - Akaash Singh
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"We were so poor, a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber." - Shannon Sharpe

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"We were so poor, a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber." - Shannon Sharpe
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"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." - random Internet user (DJ Copperhead)

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." - random Internet user (DJ Copperhead)
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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." - George Carlin

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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." - George Carlin
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"East Philly" - joke

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"East Philly" - joke
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"If I had my choice for a pet dinosaur, I'd want a trysarahtopless." - joke

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"If I had my choice for a pet dinosaur, I'd want a trysarahtopless." - joke
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"If you're in a relationship, all you should be doing is fucking and going places. That’s all you should be doing. Having sex and traveling. Fucking and going places. You should be coming and going." - Chris Rock

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"If you're in a relationship, all you should be doing is fucking and going places. That’s all you should be doing. Having sex and traveling. Fucking and going places. You should be coming and going." - Chris Rock
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"Dennis Rodman thinks a shoe deal is when you get two at the same time." - Bruce Willis

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"Dennis Rodman thinks a shoe deal is when you get two at the same time." - Bruce Willis
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"My new heart doesn't make me a Democrat now." - Dick Cheney

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"My new heart doesn't make me a Democrat now." - Dick Cheney
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"I'm not superstitious, but, I am a little stitious." - Michael Scott (The Office)

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"I'm not superstitious, but, I am a little stitious." - Michael Scott (The Office)
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"You spelled 'vagina' wrong." - joke

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"You spelled 'vagina' wrong." - joke
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"... and don't worry about the New York Knicks, they're going to sign Billy Joel." - Keith Olbermann

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"... and don't worry about the New York Knicks, they're going to sign Billy Joel." - Keith Olbermann
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"No, Hebrew is not a malt liquor." - joke

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"No, Hebrew is not a malt liquor." - joke
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"Two things happen when you unexpectedly buy a $20million painting: 1. you're out $20million, and 2. you now have a new painting." - joke

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"Two things happen when you unexpectedly buy a $20million painting: 1. you're out $20million, and 2. you now have a new painting." - joke
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"Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." - joke

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"Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." - joke
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"I don't trust a man with no eyebrows or too many keys." - Tracy Morgan

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"I don't trust a man with no eyebrows or too many keys." - Tracy Morgan
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"Does Urban Meyer have to claim Jim Harbaugh on his taxes? How does this work?" - Peter Burns

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"Does Urban Meyer have to claim Jim Harbaugh on his taxes? How does this work?" - Peter Burns
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"Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?" - joke

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"Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?" - joke
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"Niggers care about R&B. Everybody else cares about R&D." - joke

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"Niggers care about R&B. Everybody else cares about R&D." - joke
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