Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts

"He fucked that chick from France near the fence on the tennis courts. ..Talk about a 'French Open'." - Josh Fawley

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"He fucked that chick from France near the fence on the tennis courts. ..Talk about a 'French Open'." - Josh Fawley
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"Why was the mathematician late for work? She took the rhombus." - joke

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"Why was the mathematician late for work? She took the rhombus." - joke
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"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did." - Jeff Foxworthy

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"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did." - Jeff Foxworthy
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"I haven't seen you since Michael Jackson was Black." - joke

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"I haven't seen you since Michael Jackson was Black." - joke
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"From the beginning onward, marriage literally starts out with a man on his knees, begging." - Akaash Singh

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"From the beginning onward, marriage literally starts out with a man on his knees, begging." - Akaash Singh
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"We were so poor, a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber." - Shannon Sharpe

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"We were so poor, a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber." - Shannon Sharpe
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"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." - random Internet user (DJ Copperhead)

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." - random Internet user (DJ Copperhead)
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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." - George Carlin

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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." - George Carlin
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"East Philly" - joke

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"East Philly" - joke
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"If I had my choice for a pet dinosaur, I'd want a trysarahtopless." - joke

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"If I had my choice for a pet dinosaur, I'd want a trysarahtopless." - joke
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"If you're in a relationship, all you should be doing is fucking and going places. That’s all you should be doing. Having sex and traveling. Fucking and going places. You should be coming and going." - Chris Rock

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"If you're in a relationship, all you should be doing is fucking and going places. That’s all you should be doing. Having sex and traveling. Fucking and going places. You should be coming and going." - Chris Rock
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"Dennis Rodman thinks a shoe deal is when you get two at the same time." - Bruce Willis

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"Dennis Rodman thinks a shoe deal is when you get two at the same time." - Bruce Willis
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"My new heart doesn't make me a Democrat now." - Dick Cheney

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"My new heart doesn't make me a Democrat now." - Dick Cheney
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"I'm not superstitious, but, I am a little stitious." - Michael Scott (The Office)

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"I'm not superstitious, but, I am a little stitious." - Michael Scott (The Office)
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"You spelled 'vagina' wrong." - joke

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"You spelled 'vagina' wrong." - joke
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"... and don't worry about the New York Knicks, they're going to sign Billy Joel." - Keith Olbermann

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"... and don't worry about the New York Knicks, they're going to sign Billy Joel." - Keith Olbermann
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"No, Hebrew is not a malt liquor." - joke

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"No, Hebrew is not a malt liquor." - joke
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"Two things happen when you unexpectedly buy a $20million painting: 1. you're out $20million, and 2. you now have a new painting." - joke

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"Two things happen when you unexpectedly buy a $20million painting: 1. you're out $20million, and 2. you now have a new painting." - joke
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"Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." - joke

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"Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." - joke
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"I don't trust a man with no eyebrows or too many keys." - Tracy Morgan

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"I don't trust a man with no eyebrows or too many keys." - Tracy Morgan
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